My Higher Power is John Stamos
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
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