just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
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