There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
