I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
