I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
Randomize
