and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
