He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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