come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Randomize
