I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
Randomize
