When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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