just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
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