Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
My liver is preforming stress tests.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
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