Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
