So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
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