we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
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