I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
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