Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
you made out with another girl for some wings
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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