i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
Randomize
