my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
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