I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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