He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
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