If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
PANTIES FOUND
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