he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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