I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
