Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
