she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
