I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
Randomize
