I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Apparently unused tampons can also double as things to bite down on during public sex to prevent screaming...
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
So vagazzling was a success
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
