I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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