life is too short to starve
life is also too short to be fat
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
high people should be assigned attendants
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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