just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
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