Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
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