Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Randomize
