I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
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