I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Randomize
