I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize