You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
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