So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
