am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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