It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
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