dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
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