pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
lol hangovers are for mortals.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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