Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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