would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
We have an albino peacock in our apartment. It's beautiful.
Scratch it being beautiful, bitch just stole my McDonalds. Call animal control.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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