Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Randomize