He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
