I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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