There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
Randomize
