So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
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