Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
My life is pants optional.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
