Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
