I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
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