who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize
