when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
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