You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
time to smoke my breakfast
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize