i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
You told him he “could park his dick in your garage”.
Well he didn’t. It shouldn’t be this hard to get a penis.
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