Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Just FYI: if you happen to notice a liquid of some sort on my kitchen counter with an interesting color/ texture, don't taste it
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