dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
