Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Randomize
