He disabled his match.com account in front of me
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Randomize
