Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Randomize
