? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
The struggles of a small town man whore
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
