This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize