Im at strip club and am horny
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
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