Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
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