Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
Randomize
