It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
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